Hello!

If you are seeing this message, it is because you found me on a dating app and clicked a link that brought you here, to learn more about me.

This website is a great example of who I am. A few years ago, in the week between my last job and my current job, I created this site and its accompanying TikTok, to help spread compassion. I don’t invest enough time yet into turning this page/vision into something really impactful, but I hope to.

People often tell me how unique I am, that my smile lights up a room, that my joy is immense and infectious, that my hope and passion make other people believe in their own power and that change is truly possible.

For much of my life, I had little to no self-confidence or self-worth and settled for harmful relationships, terrified of being alone and convinced I was unlovable. Now that I enjoy being alone more than any relationship I’ve had, and I am 100% confident that I am immensely lovable, I am now protecting my time, energy, and gifts by being extremely selective about where I’ll go and with whom. I am holding out for a partner who immediately and increasingly notices and appreciates everything I am and am capable of, and wants only to nourish me and help me shine brighter, and vice versa, and never drain each other or make life unnecessarily hard or sad for each other.

And I apologize in advance if I stop responding to you. I have spent much of my life in abusive relationships, and I am finally and very intentionally protecting my peace and energy as much as possible, which also means that when I realize a potential match is probably not a good fit for me, for one reason or another, I often need to pivot my energy and time to things that better suit my needs and journey. I unfortunately haven’t yet mastered a way to end online dating connections without getting at least some negative responses, and so I admittedly sometimes avoid stating that I’m no longer interested, feeling at least somewhat afraid of whatever response I could possibly receive. If that happens, I sincerely apologize.

I am uniquely awesome, and I am not a good fit for plenty of people. For example, I am not very active, especially when I’m by myself. I have had a pretty overwhelming and exhausting life, and I appreciate rest and calm. I also seem to mostly only be interested in dating people who are actively and meaningfully working to make the world a better place for everyone, as well as people who cause as little harm to others as possible (vegetarian who rescues insects? my soul mate!). I think capitalism is the cause of much of what’s wrong with the world, so if your life, work, or interests revolve around money, or around tech/AI, we also likely aren’t a good match.

I also probably would match better with someone who has teen-aged child(ren) (I have a 15 year old son), someone who loves cats and nature, punk and jazz and everything in between, arthouse movies, hole-in-the-wall gems, and who would be up for doing Legos and puzzles with me, or photography, or anything random we dream up. I would also love to partner with a musician, and/or someone who is excited to cook and bake with me.

I also prefer to chat over the apps until we’re both excited to meet in person, so if you prefer to rush into meeting people or if you aren’t a big fan of texting, we probably also aren’t a good match. I also am only interested in dating people I am attracted to physically and emotionally, and hope that anyone I date would feel the same about me. And I am only interested in monogamous relationships, so *please swipe left if you are looking for anything other than a long-term monogamous relationship*.

Adaptability is always key, and yet I also have a good idea of what I want and need to thrive, in a relationship and out. I would rather end up alone than ever again try to make it work with the wrong person for me, even if you happen to be great. Nothing personal! Even if I am not a good match for you or vice versa, I wish you all the best and hope you can create a future filled with joy, compassion, healing, and love!